Shayri Local-Fokat
It’s the thing that satisfies
Your mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
In the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
**************************************************************************************************************
Ek bar karo na plz…
Kisi ko pata nahi chalega…
Plz karo naaa…
Muje acha lage ga…
Ek bar hamari dosti ki khatri
Kar do na plz…
Ek pyara sa SMS!
***********************************************************************************************
Mother, to her teenage daughter, -
I think its right time, we should talk about sex.
Daughter: Sure mom, what do you want to know?
***********************************************************************************************
Pehle kiss karo,
Phir palang per leta do,
Phir chaddi utar do,
Phir niche haath lagao,
Aur check karo k
Baby ne su su to nahi kiya na
***********************************************************************************************
Teri sula ke lu,
Ya bitha ke lu,
Ya tujhe karu khada,
Ya fir teri jhuka-jhukake lu,
Ab tu hi bata
Ki mein teri…
Photo kaise lu
***********************************************************************************************
Train mai ek husband apni wife se:
Tujhse shadi karke pachta raha hun
Dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
Samnay wala passenger: wao wao wao wao!
**********************************************************************************************
A couple had a fight one night
Going to bed Husband says:
Good night mother of my 3 kids.
Wife Replied: Good night father of none
***********************************************************************************************
Your mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
In the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
**************************************************************************************************************
Ek bar karo na plz…
Kisi ko pata nahi chalega…
Plz karo naaa…
Muje acha lage ga…
Ek bar hamari dosti ki khatri
Kar do na plz…
Ek pyara sa SMS!
***********************************************************************************************
Mother, to her teenage daughter, -
I think its right time, we should talk about sex.
Daughter: Sure mom, what do you want to know?
***********************************************************************************************
Pehle kiss karo,
Phir palang per leta do,
Phir chaddi utar do,
Phir niche haath lagao,
Aur check karo k
Baby ne su su to nahi kiya na
***********************************************************************************************
Teri sula ke lu,
Ya bitha ke lu,
Ya tujhe karu khada,
Ya fir teri jhuka-jhukake lu,
Ab tu hi bata
Ki mein teri…
Photo kaise lu
***********************************************************************************************
Train mai ek husband apni wife se:
Tujhse shadi karke pachta raha hun
Dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
Samnay wala passenger: wao wao wao wao!
**********************************************************************************************
A couple had a fight one night
Going to bed Husband says:
Good night mother of my 3 kids.
Wife Replied: Good night father of none
***********************************************************************************************
Lund aur c**t ka khel, Lund hua fail, Hui enquiry, Lund gaya Jail, Jail me mili haseena, Lund ko aaya paseena, phir chillaee haseena, **** gaya kameena.
*******************************************************************************************************************************
HDVE SEX DDILY, Jab bhi milli wo akeli, wo nahin to uski saheli, saheli nahin to apni Hatheli.. but have sex daily!!
***********************************************************************************************************************************
50]
Duniya me jo aaye ho to kuchh aisa kar jao meharbaan, jis gali se gujro aawaz aaye "ABBA-JAAN, ABBA-JAAN !"
****************************************************************************************************************
son: Dad, gajab ho gaya, bhai darwaja nahi khol raha. Dad: kal uski suhagraat thi. Son: Kal raat ko bhai ne cold cream mangi thi maine fevicol de diya bhul se.
***************************************************************************************************************
3 Facts of life: Garib aur b**bs hamesha dabte hai, Musibat aur DICK kabhi bhi khadi ho jati hai kismat aur bra kisi bhi waqt khul sakti hai
************************************************************************************************************
Wife bathroom se glass ki bottle le ke:Darling, ye safed safed kya hai? Husband: Ye wo yateem bachche hai jinhe maa ka pyaar nahi mila
***********************************************************************************************
A crow sh*ts on a sardar, sardarni hands over tissue to sardarji. Sardar says: Ab kiski gaand ponchhu, kawwa to udd gaya.
***********************************************************************************************
Whats the name of a chinese prostitute? Answer is SABNE LEE.
***********************************************************************************************
1]What do 2 sardars says to each other if they share the same girl?
Ans: assi tussi same pussy kabhi tu ghussy kabhi mein ghussy.
2]Sardar used to f**k sardarni using milk as lubricant. Later she was rushed to hospital, when the Doctor came out of OT said, no baby or baba, just 1kg MAWA *****************************************************************************************************************
3]Who has biggest ****?
Ans: Dharmendra’s wife. Because sunny Deol sings " Main nikla Gaddi le ke..."4]One day a man goes to bank for withdrawing cash. Lady cashier asked: so ke loge?
Man replied: Khade khade bhi chalega.5]Ek jhalak kafi hai dil ka mariz banane ke liye, tune itni badi salwaar pahani ek chhoti si cheez chupane ke liye.
*************************************************************************************************
Arz kiya hai ...Nigahon se nigahen mila kar to dekho ...Kabhi kisi ladki ko pata kar to dekho ....Hasraten dil mein dabane se kya hoga ....Apne haathon se "Ball" daba kar to dekho ....Aasmaan simat jayega tumhare aagosh mein....
Ladki ki Taangen phaila kar to dekho ...
Ye na kar sake ... Haarna nahin ....
Do boonden zaroor girengi ....
Apne L*nd ko hila kar to dekho
*************************************************************************************************
Patni ne araz kiya hai...
Zara theere se thokoo sanam
mahengai ka zamaanaa hai.6 inch ke l*nd ko, zindagi bhar chalana hai.
*************************************************************************************************
Samunder kinare baithe hain .... Kabhi to lehar aayegi ...
Kismat badle na badle .... GAAND to dhul jayegi .
*************************************************************************************************
Kuch Mushkil hai
L*nd pe aitbaar kisko hai....
Mil jaye ch*dne ko to inkaar kisko hai....
Kuchh mushkilen hain nayi ch**t paane mein ai dost ....
Warna purani ch**t se pyaar kisko hai.
*************************************************************************************************
Husband:Darling good night
Wife:Aise kaise good night?
Pehle band....
kar light,
phir lun.d kar tight,
dubake kar fight,
jab nikal jaye white,
then I feel right,
phir good night!
*************************************************************************************************
Kabhi toh lee hogi Sooraj ne Chand ki,
Tabhi toh Chand mein daag hai...
Mumkin hai
Chand ne doobara nahi dee hogi
Tabhi toh Sooraj mein aag hai...
*************************************************************************************************
Arz hai ...
Muskaan ko honthon tak laaya na karo....
Mummon ko upar se dikhaya na karo....
Log haath mein L*nd liye phirte hain....
Apni G**nd itni hilaya na karo
*************************************************************************************************
L*nd jab Parchand ho....
to Ch**t khand khand ho...
L*nd tum badhe chalo...
Ch**t par chadhe chalo...
Saamne daraar ho....
Jhaant ka pahad ho...
L*nd tum ruko nahin...
L*nd tum jhuko nahin.
*************************************************************************************************
O cycle chalane wali........
Cycle chalaye jaa rahi hai.
O cycle chalane wali, cycle chalaye jaa rahi hai..
Hamare matlab ki cheez ghaddi pe ghisaye jaa rahi hai
*************************************************************************************************
5]
Gaon ki gori,
lagti bholi,
utare choli,
panty kholi,
bed pe soli,
mujhse boli,
nikalo pichkari, khelo holi.
*************************************************************************************************
Aurat ke hath me badi barkat hoti hai,
teeninch ki chiz hath me lete hi saat
inch ki ho jati hai.
*************************************************************************************************
Arz kiya hai..
College se nikalte hi kitab sine se laga leti ho!
Hum kya margaye jo khud hi dabaa leti ho
A lady lost 3 panties in her house
She asked her husband but he didn’t know
Husb asked maid.
Maid replied: Saab,aapko to maloom hai mai kuchh nahi pahanti
*************************************************************************************************
A sardar havin sex with his wife
when his condom went in.
wife asked: Ab kya hoga?
Sardar: kuchh nahi, bachcha pagdi ke saath aaega
*************************************************************************************************************************
Majnu: ai khuda, tune ladki ki kamar kya banai, mitti kam pad gayi ya rishwat khayi.Khuda: Na mitti kam padi na rishwat khayi, kamar dabai tabhi to BREAST bahar aai.
***********************************************************************************************************
Johnny wanted ...
Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I’ll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you....but the girl said NO.
Johnny said I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up.
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for 2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won’t even be able to get his pants down. So she agrees and accepts the proposal.
Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls and asks what happened......
She said "HE USED COINS!!!"
Beaver Hunting ...
An 80-year old man walks into the doctor’s office for his regular check-up.
The doctor says to him, "Ahh, Ted, how are you feeling?"
"Great," says the old man. "I have an 18-year old wife, and she’s pregnant with my child."
The doctor gives a concerned look and says to Ted, "Ted, let me tell you a story. See, I have this hunter friend and early one morning, he goes out hunting, but is in such a hurry that he grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, as he is hunting, he spots a beaver. He aims at the beaver with his umbrella and shoots at it. Bam!! The beaver falls dead to the ground."
"What?!" cries the old man. "Why that’s impossible! Someone else must have shot the beaver."
"Exactly," says the doctor.
Baby Planes ??
**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
A mother
and her young son were flying from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess."
So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because our airline always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
*
*******************************************************************************************************************************
HDVE SEX DDILY, Jab bhi milli wo akeli, wo nahin to uski saheli, saheli nahin to apni Hatheli.. but have sex daily!!
***********************************************************************************************************************************
50]
Duniya me jo aaye ho to kuchh aisa kar jao meharbaan, jis gali se gujro aawaz aaye "ABBA-JAAN, ABBA-JAAN !"
****************************************************************************************************************
son: Dad, gajab ho gaya, bhai darwaja nahi khol raha. Dad: kal uski suhagraat thi. Son: Kal raat ko bhai ne cold cream mangi thi maine fevicol de diya bhul se.
***************************************************************************************************************
3 Facts of life: Garib aur b**bs hamesha dabte hai, Musibat aur DICK kabhi bhi khadi ho jati hai kismat aur bra kisi bhi waqt khul sakti hai
************************************************************************************************************
Wife bathroom se glass ki bottle le ke:Darling, ye safed safed kya hai? Husband: Ye wo yateem bachche hai jinhe maa ka pyaar nahi mila
***********************************************************************************************
A crow sh*ts on a sardar, sardarni hands over tissue to sardarji. Sardar says: Ab kiski gaand ponchhu, kawwa to udd gaya.
***********************************************************************************************
Whats the name of a chinese prostitute? Answer is SABNE LEE.
***********************************************************************************************
1]What do 2 sardars says to each other if they share the same girl?
Ans: assi tussi same pussy kabhi tu ghussy kabhi mein ghussy.
2]Sardar used to f**k sardarni using milk as lubricant. Later she was rushed to hospital, when the Doctor came out of OT said, no baby or baba, just 1kg MAWA *****************************************************************************************************************
3]Who has biggest ****?
Ans: Dharmendra’s wife. Because sunny Deol sings " Main nikla Gaddi le ke..."4]One day a man goes to bank for withdrawing cash. Lady cashier asked: so ke loge?
Man replied: Khade khade bhi chalega.5]Ek jhalak kafi hai dil ka mariz banane ke liye, tune itni badi salwaar pahani ek chhoti si cheez chupane ke liye.
*************************************************************************************************
Arz kiya hai ...Nigahon se nigahen mila kar to dekho ...Kabhi kisi ladki ko pata kar to dekho ....Hasraten dil mein dabane se kya hoga ....Apne haathon se "Ball" daba kar to dekho ....Aasmaan simat jayega tumhare aagosh mein....
Ladki ki Taangen phaila kar to dekho ...
Ye na kar sake ... Haarna nahin ....
Do boonden zaroor girengi ....
Apne L*nd ko hila kar to dekho
*************************************************************************************************
Patni ne araz kiya hai...
Zara theere se thokoo sanam
mahengai ka zamaanaa hai.6 inch ke l*nd ko, zindagi bhar chalana hai.
*************************************************************************************************
Samunder kinare baithe hain .... Kabhi to lehar aayegi ...
Kismat badle na badle .... GAAND to dhul jayegi .
*************************************************************************************************
Kuch Mushkil hai
L*nd pe aitbaar kisko hai....
Mil jaye ch*dne ko to inkaar kisko hai....
Kuchh mushkilen hain nayi ch**t paane mein ai dost ....
Warna purani ch**t se pyaar kisko hai.
*************************************************************************************************
Husband:Darling good night
Wife:Aise kaise good night?
Pehle band....
kar light,
phir lun.d kar tight,
dubake kar fight,
jab nikal jaye white,
then I feel right,
phir good night!
*************************************************************************************************
Kabhi toh lee hogi Sooraj ne Chand ki,
Tabhi toh Chand mein daag hai...
Mumkin hai
Chand ne doobara nahi dee hogi
Tabhi toh Sooraj mein aag hai...
*************************************************************************************************
Arz hai ...
Muskaan ko honthon tak laaya na karo....
Mummon ko upar se dikhaya na karo....
Log haath mein L*nd liye phirte hain....
Apni G**nd itni hilaya na karo
*************************************************************************************************
L*nd jab Parchand ho....
to Ch**t khand khand ho...
L*nd tum badhe chalo...
Ch**t par chadhe chalo...
Saamne daraar ho....
Jhaant ka pahad ho...
L*nd tum ruko nahin...
L*nd tum jhuko nahin.
*************************************************************************************************
O cycle chalane wali........
Cycle chalaye jaa rahi hai.
O cycle chalane wali, cycle chalaye jaa rahi hai..
Hamare matlab ki cheez ghaddi pe ghisaye jaa rahi hai
*************************************************************************************************
5]
Gaon ki gori,
lagti bholi,
utare choli,
panty kholi,
bed pe soli,
mujhse boli,
nikalo pichkari, khelo holi.
*************************************************************************************************
Aurat ke hath me badi barkat hoti hai,
teeninch ki chiz hath me lete hi saat
inch ki ho jati hai.
*************************************************************************************************
Arz kiya hai..
College se nikalte hi kitab sine se laga leti ho!
Hum kya margaye jo khud hi dabaa leti ho
A lady lost 3 panties in her house
She asked her husband but he didn’t know
Husb asked maid.
Maid replied: Saab,aapko to maloom hai mai kuchh nahi pahanti
*************************************************************************************************
A sardar havin sex with his wife
when his condom went in.
wife asked: Ab kya hoga?
Sardar: kuchh nahi, bachcha pagdi ke saath aaega
*************************************************************************************************************************
Majnu: ai khuda, tune ladki ki kamar kya banai, mitti kam pad gayi ya rishwat khayi.Khuda: Na mitti kam padi na rishwat khayi, kamar dabai tabhi to BREAST bahar aai.
***********************************************************************************************************
Johnny wanted ...
Johnny wanted to screw a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I’ll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you....but the girl said NO.
Johnny said I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up.
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for 2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won’t even be able to get his pants down. So she agrees and accepts the proposal.
Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 mins the boyfriend calls and asks what happened......
She said "HE USED COINS!!!"
Beaver Hunting ...
An 80-year old man walks into the doctor’s office for his regular check-up.
The doctor says to him, "Ahh, Ted, how are you feeling?"
"Great," says the old man. "I have an 18-year old wife, and she’s pregnant with my child."
The doctor gives a concerned look and says to Ted, "Ted, let me tell you a story. See, I have this hunter friend and early one morning, he goes out hunting, but is in such a hurry that he grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, as he is hunting, he spots a beaver. He aims at the beaver with his umbrella and shoots at it. Bam!! The beaver falls dead to the ground."
"What?!" cries the old man. "Why that’s impossible! Someone else must have shot the beaver."
"Exactly," says the doctor.
Baby Planes ??
**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
A mother
and her young son were flying from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess."
So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because our airline always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
*
